The big girls do not cry.
I was only 12 when the spotlight flashed on me.
Before I had some small part and filmed a few commercials, but nothing important.
was then that I made my entrance to the Olympus of celebrities. Or at least, I saw that.
Joining, as protagonist of a TV series, Disney's then, not just some stuff, even for the prettiest girl in school. The first day of filming, however, was a disaster, have been the lights, the new environment and so damned flamboyant or aid that would not stop yelling in the megaphone, but I could not say a word to anyone. Upon entering the scene then, I realized that a bloodstain was expanding on the fabric of my pants again immaculate and white, come from the inside thigh almost up to his knees. It was too much.
I ran the run, in tears in the dressing room with the star on pink door, and I got barricai inside, determined not to leave except when they were all gone. It was my mother then, the only one I pulled out. "Little that happens? Do not worry, you're just growing up ... "he said with a saccharine voice, but my sobs increased rather than decreased: whatever I say, did nothing but increase my frustration and my tears. Meanwhile, I do not know how, but they were able to enter the dressing room, she and other characters, with a view flooded with tears, seemed to me absurd freaks. Even the fake fake clowns and dwarfs noteworthy effects resulted in my crying, until I felt almost detached from the head and neck skin of the cheeks that burned button. I wiped my eyes with his sleeve to see what was happening: my mother had settled two slaps. I stopped staring at her astonished face tightened into a grimace of disgust. I had never seen her so calm, nor so strong and determined at the same time "Fergie! The big girls do not cry! "I just said, contemptuously, then I turned and walked out.
instinctively brought his hands on his cheeks still hurt me and only then I realized it was the first time I touched them, even in my short life I received from you or a slap or a caress, nor a hug. He said that I could not touch it, I would rumpled clothes, or ruin the hair and makeup. And I thought it was a normal, natural. And the contario, exchange affection and effusions, such as parents kept their children in their arms, were a thing of stuff to the poor.
Since then, we never touched, even by mistake.
But it was that episode, and especially that phrase, my true initiation into the world that golden dream, a world full of women like her, I admired that in spite of everything,
and now, finally, too full of myself.
Inspiration comes from a song by Fergie: Big Girls Do not Cry
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